Sarbani Chakravarti
The Indian obsession with cinema is legendary, we cannot let a day pass without humming the tune of a Bollywood number or drawing an analogy from some film. Films have always been a mirror reflecting the prevailing social norms, sometimes even going a step further to become a commentary on diverse social issues and a platform for experimentation. The strong link between real life and cinema prods one toward the deduction that societal change will automatically be reflected in the films made during periods of transition. However, it is to be remembered that the importance of audience acceptance cannot be dismissed as film making is a commercial venture. Keeping this in mind, a careful appraisal of some films released in the recent past will reveal interesting facts. The release of Veere Di Wedding in 2018 marked the beginning of new perspectives being translated from real life to life depicted on-screen. Feminism having made inroads into the lives of the regular people of urban India, found itself at the centre stage of mass entertainment making bold statements and raising uncomfortable questions. Many had happily concluded that finally Indian cinema had come of age and could become an effective medium for breaking the stereotypes.
However, it is time to reflect whether Indian cinema has really come of age. Veere Di Weeding in certain ways has been path-breaking. To put a girl gang on a journey of introspection, to allow them the space to explore their inner selves without inhibitions, to make them mouth expletives, and unapologetically embrace their sexuality with unabashed confidence are components unheard of in Indian cinema. The freedom to make mistakes, being responsible for one’s own frailties, yet not to lose the zest for life, yet to desire to live life to the fullest, yet to be optimistic enough not to slip into a state of abject self-pity, to break away from the hangover of set patterns, it is more than just a lesson in living lives which are far from fairy tales and closer to the predicament of the urban damsels who are capable of rescuing themselves without the protective arms of a knight in shining armour. Where do we have the knights these days? Did we ever really have any? Wasn’t it always created to present a semblance of the ‘ideal state’ of existence, something which never happens but the illusion is necessary to allow continuation of set social patterns and conventions, upsetting which will usher a social revolution for which we shall never be ready.
It is not feminism that I am talking about. I am not talking about ‘Bra Burning’ which was, if not a myth, deliberately blown out of proportion to undermine the more serious issues which the feminist movement intend to convey; nor am I saying that men must be banished from the ‘Republic’. Men, they are good creatures, in fact most of them are. They prove themselves useful in various ways, in different walks of life. They are necessary for fathering children and honestly, most of them are desirable fathers committed to the welfare of their children (even if disconnection has occurred with their spouse, they try to fulfil their domestic duties). We live in strange times, economic independence has not necessarily freed women from the yoke of conventional expectations which is a legacy of the past. Women are not expected to have sexual desires, if they have, it is a sort of perversion, PDA can invite severe admonishment but molestation can be accepted as a way of life. Sexual crimes often go unreported due to the fear of social embarrassment. Women are not expected to use profanities, it is the exclusive domain of men and trespassers deserve prosecution. The gender roles are as clearly defined as they used to be centuries back, to break out of it is still a far-removed dream. Life for a woman continues to remain ‘incomplete’, she fails to connect with her inner self because the society is not yet ready to embrace her with all her imperfections and ‘perversions’ and for her own self, it can be quite an unnerving experience. This inability to connect with her inner self is the biggest tragedy of female life. However, in recent times, many bravehearts are not shying away from giving themselves a second or maybe even a third chance, dreaming of bigger happiness and greater fulfilment.
The challenge is to marry romanticism with pragmatism, being comfortable about one’s weaknesses, attaining a state of harmony within oneself without being ashamed of ‘things’ one has been conditioned to be ashamed of, triumphing over unnecessary sense of guilt, and above everything else making the relationship worthwhile for oneself and for the partner. Who can stop desiring a Jack who will sink to save his Rose (Titanic) or a Vanraj who puts his beloved Nandini above himself and yet continues to love her (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)? A lover waiting for hours just to catch a glimpse of his lady love, a wife preparing a special dish for her husband after a hard day or a husband eagerly trying to make his pregnant wife comfortable will never go out of fashion. There is a bit more to desire for, let women be accepted as nature has created them, with flaws and ‘perversions’ and yet with the inexplicable ability to love and nurture even at the risk of obliterating themselves.